How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
