I want to walk on stilts...naked
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
