Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's never too late to be topless.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
