One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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