Your mouth is God's brothel.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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