so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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