Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
