started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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