I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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