but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Im part way to drunk.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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