Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize