May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
