quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
