I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
