Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
