no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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