So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
