drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
