mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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