how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
