Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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