I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
last night I used snow as a chaser
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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