it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
