he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
