I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
