I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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