My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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