There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
