I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I party with great urgency now.
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