trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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