she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
