Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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