Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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