yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
