there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
