Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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