To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
