I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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