the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I looked at my own cervix.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So vagazzling was a success
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
