did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
