You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
