wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
