it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
