Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
