Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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