Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
