Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
