so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
