This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
