..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
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