But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
