Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I touched a dick in church today
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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