they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
