I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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