Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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