Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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