Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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