I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
